Dear Mom

by Susan Rothlein

I find my days slipping into ordinary sameness.
I walk the dog, weed the garden, watch winter fade. I thought
I would linger longer in sharp edged grief, the early territory of
your death. My sorrow now feels sealed; secluded behind laundry,
lists, and the seductive perfume of earth’s spring rebirth as
the currents of life carry me forward, away from you.
I fear feeling better is forgetting.

You visit me in dreams – I hear your voice, turn to
see you sitting nearby. Your presence hovers, clear,
strong in my first waking moments. I lie still,
eyes closed, try not to let go, but you dissolve as sun
slides under the shades, morning’s bird symphony begins,
the cat’s insistent breakfast call finds me.
I start another day.

Susan Rothstein’s most recent career was teaching yoga. She is now enjoying being a student of both poetry and gardening.

About Dear Mom—This poem grew out of a class assignment to write a confessional poem and deals with my feelings about the recent death of my mother.